Dreamy Situations
by Her Sweetness
Summary: Kaiba is still sad about Joey and him breaking up, but Mokuba is determined to help him forget. Yet, In his quest to find Seto the perfect companion... could he be overlooking something? DONE!
1. Chapter 1

Dreamy situations  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
It was another one of those rainy summer days at the Kaiba Mansion. Just about everyday it would rain and Mokuba would have to stay inside. Normally he wouldn't mind that too much because he got to hang out with his older brother, but lately Seto wasn't himself. He would mope around all day, put off working, and lay in his bed watching the rainfall.  
  
Mokuba became board playing solitaire down stairs and decided to see if he could persuade Seto to play chess with him. He went up the stairs and knocked on Seto's door, "Seto? Can I come in?"  
  
"Yes..."  
  
Mokuba opened the door and peeked inside, he saw Seto at his desk on the other side of the room looking at a picture, "Uh, hey Seto."  
  
"Hey."  
  
He walked over, "Do you want to play chess?"  
  
"No, thanks. I've got stuff to do." He got out of the chair hopped into bed. "Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight!? It's one in the afternoon!" Mokuba scratched his head, "Seto you've been acting like this all week. What's wrong with you?"  
  
"Nothing..."  
  
Mokuba sat in the chair and looked at the desk, he picked up the picture his brother had been looking at, "..." It was a picture of him and Joey kissing on their one month anniversary. "Is this what you've been looking at Seto?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Seto?" Mokuba looked up, Kaiba was all the way under the covers and the only thing he could see was a tuft of brown hair. "Seto, get from under there!"  
  
"..."  
  
Mokuba went over and tossed the blanket off of him, "Why are you acting like this? I know you miss Joey, but you should stop moping. It isn't doing any good and I miss the old Seto."  
  
"..." he turned around.  
  
"Hey! I'm talking to you! Earth to Seto Kaiba! Ugh..." he crawled in the bed with him and poked him in the back.  
  
Kaiba finally turned his face, "What?"  
  
"You need someone else. Why don't you go on a date?"  
  
"I don't want to go on a date."  
  
"What's wrong with all of you?! All of Yugi and his friends, including you, only date within your little group. Share the wealth!"  
  
"..."  
  
"There are other fish in the sea."  
  
"I'm allergic to fish."  
  
"You know what I mean!"  
  
Seto smiled, "Yes, I know what you mean. Thanks for your persistence, but I just don't think I'm ready for anyone else..."  
  
"You are. Joey's over is over it and you should get on with your life..."  
  
"You're right." He sat up, "I should get on with my life."  
  
"That's right. So, I'll help you!"  
  
"Uh, thanks." He tasseled Mokuba's hair, "But I don't need romantic help from my little brother."  
  
"Hey, I'm only a couple of years younger."  
  
"Right, but in dog years that's a lot."  
  
"...Hey! I'm not a dog!"  
  
Seto got from out of the bed and went over to the window, "I wonder what Joey's doing right now..."  
  
"Seto!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I can't help it."  
  
"Oh yes you can." Mokuba went by his side, "Think about something else. Something happy."  
  
"Okay..." he thought for a second, "...I miss Joey."  
  
"You're impossible!" Mokuba walked out the door and downstairs.  
  
When he got to the living room he sat on the couch and picked up the newspaper. He was reading the Funnies for a couple of minutes until he dropped a page and picked it up, 'Hmm.' it was the personals column. He was scanning it until he came to this one ad from this guy saying he needed a girlfriend, it described him and what he liked.  
  
'Hey... this could be exactly what Seto needs. A bunch of dates are out there waiting just for him! Oh... but he would never agree to this. Unless of course it was after the fact.'  
  
Mokuba took the ad and ran upstairs to his room. He sat at his desk and pulled out a pencil and paper. 'Okay.' He put the pencil to paper. 'What is Seto like? Well, he's handsome, and he's a multi-billionaire.'  
  
He wrote all that down but still felt he was missing something, he looked to the ad he took from the news paper and scanned it again. 'Oh, well what kind of a date would Seto like? Is he gay or bi? I'll say bi, and he would like someone who knows how to have fun. Someone sexy... and good hygiene, and has... um... a good job. There, that should be all he needs.'  
  
Mokuba dialed the number on top of the paper and someone answered, "Hello?"  
  
"Yeah, I'd like to place a personals ad."  
  
"Okay then, I'll need your name or the name of the person you're representing."  
  
"Seto Kaiba."  
  
"Okay then, Mr. Kaiba. What do you want the ad to say?"  
  
"Handsome, quiet, loving, and rich. Seventeen and bi-sexual. Seeking anyone with good looks and a romantic soul. Actually, anyone without a criminal record will be fine."  
  
"Is that all?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Okay then, it should be out in tomorrows paper. If anyone responds to it the letter will be forwarded to your residence."  
  
"Thanks, Bye." He hung up the phone and put the ad in his drawer.  
  
'This should be good for Seto, he needs to get his mind of off Joey. And lot's of people will respond, I just know it.' 


	2. Chapter 2

Dreamy situations  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
The next day Mokuba was up bright and early. He was at the window, looking for the paperboy, 'Come on! You're late!'  
  
Finally he heard those same bicycle tracks coming down the street, he leaned towards the window a little more and saw him close to their mansion.  
  
He ran out the door and down the driveway, "Hey! Over here!" he waved his arms above his head and the paperboy pulled over to him.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Where's our paper?!"  
  
"Uh... right here." He pulled out a newspaper and handed it to him.  
  
"Oh, thank you!" Mokuba ran back inside, and slammed the door.  
  
He went over to the couch and threw down every section except the personals. He looked closely at it then in the middle he saw 'Seto Kaiba' in bold letters and all the things he told the lady were below it.  
  
"Yes! Seto will be so happy! I think he shouldn't find out just yet though..."  
  
"Seto will be happy about what?" Kaiba was right behind him.  
  
Mokuba looked back, "Seto! You're supposed to be asleep!"  
  
"And I can't wake up?"  
  
He hide the newspaper behind his back, "Well, you weren't supposed to... Anyway I'll be going now." He started to walk off.  
  
"Hold on," Seto snatched the paper. "What's this?"  
  
"Seto! Give it back!" he tried to jump for it but his brother was too tall.  
  
"This is a personal ad, what are you doing with this..." he saw the words 'Seto Kaiba' and everything Mokuba had put down. "MOKUBA!"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What in hell's name did you do?!"  
  
"Well... you seemed lonely so I... um..."  
  
"You put an ad in the personals column! Mokuba, only desperate people do that."  
  
"You seemed desperate to me."  
  
"Well, I'm not."  
  
"Sorry..."  
  
"What am I going to do now?"  
  
"Wait for someone to reply! I know they will!"  
  
"Yeah, of course they will. You put in here that I'm rich! That kind of thing drives all the weirdo's out."  
  
"Please Seto. You seem so sad lately, I just want to help you recover. And the only way to do that is to get someone else. I know this'll work, will you do it?"  
  
"..." he looked at Mokuba's big glossy eyes, "Well...okay... I guess."  
  
"Great!"  
  
"But couldn't you have put more of a direct description of the person I'm seeking?"  
  
"I did."  
  
"You said anyone without a criminal record! And everyone thinks they look good. What if I get someone obese? Or smelly?"  
  
"I put they have to have good hygiene. And I think your being silly. No one in Domino is smelly, and fat people can show you a good time too."  
  
"No they cant. Besides fat people creep me out. Like clowns..."  
  
"You're ridiculous."  
  
"No, I'm not. I'm being realistic. Do you know how many nutcases are out there?"  
  
"No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me."  
  
"Well, like this one guy I interviewed to be my new assistant two weeks ago... he offered to 'wax my melons' and then there was that girl who asked to wash my hair..."  
  
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Mokuba had broken out in laughter, "Seto... please, stop... you're killing me..."  
  
"Not funny. My point being is that some sick people are out there and you want me to date them."  
  
"Why don't you think of the positives? There could be nice, skinny, not weird people out there waiting for you."  
  
"They can wait all they want, but I'm not interested."  
  
"Aw, come on. You promised you would."  
  
"I'll go on a couple... but if I don't like it, you'll give up. Okay?"  
  
"Okay." His fingers were crossed behind his back.  
  
"In the meanwhile I have to go to the office. Do you want to come?"  
  
"No thanks, I have stuff to do here."  
  
"Like what? Watch T.V and eat junk food."  
  
Mokuba sat on the couch, "Hey, it's summer. What else am I supposed to do?"  
  
It was the next day at around noon, the mail had come and guess what? Seto had gotten five letters. Two were from guys and the other three were from girls. Mokuba ran up to Kaiba's room with the letters in hand.  
  
"Seto! Seto, open up!"  
  
Kaiba opened the door, "What's with all the yelling?"  
  
"Look!" he held the letters up so Seto could see, "You've got five letters from the personals ad already! Aren't you excited?"  
  
"Yeah, and I just can't hide it..."  
  
They sat down on Seto's bed and opened them, "Hey, Seto. They all came with pictures."  
  
"Ugh... yeah, and I wish they hadn't."  
  
"Aw, come on. Be open minded... This one isn't so bad." Held up a picture, "Her name is Rose."  
  
"Rose, huh?" he looked at her closely, "...SHE HAS SIX CHINS!"  
  
"No she doesn't... that's about four..."  
  
"My point is that she's a hippo."  
  
Mokuba started to giggle, "Let's just see what her letter says... 'Dear Kaiba, I've seen your picture before. You are very hot. I'm 27, and I am everything you're ad described, and I'd like you to call me back at this number: 567-1234.' That wasn't so bad."  
  
"She is most certainly not everything my ad described," he picked another one. "This one is from Tommy, 'Hey Kaiba, I've been looking at your pictures in the business monthly magazines. Very nice. I'm 16, and I like leather and chains, call me at: 789-5678.' Yuck."  
  
"You're picky."  
  
"Am not, I just know what I want."  
  
Mokuba picked up another one, "This one is from Cassie, she looks nice. 'Hello Seto Kaiba, I'm Cassie (17). I'd like to meet you in person; you seem great from your ad. If you're interested in a date... call this number: 456-4889.' She seems great."  
  
Seto took a closer look at her picture, "Well, it's not bad... She's pretty at least."  
  
"Great! So, you'll call her?"  
  
"Well, I..."  
  
Mokuba ran downstairs and was back up like a flash, "Here's the phone!" he held out the receiver. "Go ahead."  
  
Kaiba mumbled something then dialed the number on the letter, Ring, Ring, Ring! "Hello?"  
  
"Yes, is this Cassie?"  
  
"It is, who is this?"  
  
"Uh, Seto Kaiba... I was..."  
  
"AHH! OH MY GOD! REALLY?" She shouted into the phone.  
  
"Yes, really..."  
  
Mokuba was trying to stifle a laugh.  
  
"Wow, this is so cool!"  
  
"Um, okay. Well, I wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner with me?"  
  
"YES! YES! YES!" She took a deep breath, "No one has ever asked me out before!"  
  
"What? Why? What's wrong with you?!"  
  
Mokuba elbowed him hard in his side, "Rudeness..."  
  
Kaiba sighed, "Well, I'll pick you up at six tonight."  
  
"OKEY-DOKEY!"  
  
He hung up the phone, "Mokuba, I think that was a mistake."  
  
"No it wasn't, you just made her day. Didn't you hear how happy she was?"  
  
"She screeched in my ear! I'll probably go deaf at an early age if I hang around with her."  
  
"Well, we better go over some rules before your big date tonight. We've got work to do."  
  
"Rules? Work? What for?"  
  
"Because Mr. Rudeness, you'll blow it if we don't do this. If you say mean things to her, it could ruin your whole dating career."  
  
"Career? Ugh..."  
  
"Yup, come on Seto. Time is of the essence." 


	3. Chapter 3

Dreamy situations  
  
Chapter 3:  
  
Mokuba and Seto went down into the living room where Mokuba then wrote something on a index card, "Okay Seto, this is how it's going to work..."  
  
"..."  
  
"You're going to pretend I'm Cassie, and when I say something... you have to say something non-rude or mean. Got it?"  
  
"This'll be easy."  
  
"We'll see, okay first one. What do you think of my dress Kaiba?"  
  
"It makes you look fat."  
  
"SETO!"  
  
He laughed, "I...I'm sorry Mokuba... I couldn't resist..."  
  
"Well, try harder! Next one," he turned back to the card, "Do you want to go back to my place?"  
  
"Hell no."  
  
"SETO!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're supposed to say yes."  
  
"On a first date?!"  
  
"Yes, it means you're flexible."  
  
"Ugh..."  
  
"Next one," he paused, "Would you like to eat at my house next time?"  
  
"Can you cook?"  
  
"Seto..."  
  
"I don't want to eat anything nasty..."  
  
"That's not the point."  
  
"Last one,"  
  
"Thank god."  
  
Mokuba glared at him, "This one is a scenario..."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"You guys are at her door at the end of the night and she closes her eyes. What do you do?"  
  
"Well, she's got her eyes closed, right? Naturally, I walk away."  
  
"SETO!!!"  
  
"I don't want to kiss anyone on the first date."  
  
"Come on," Mokuba dragged Seto by the hand back into his room, "We need to pick out your wardrobe."  
  
"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"  
  
"Number one, their you're pajamas."  
  
He looked down, "Oh..."  
  
"Number two, you need to wear something sexy."  
  
"Sexy?"  
  
"But..." he raided Seto's closet, "I don't think you have anything like that."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Oh look, here's something good!" he pulled out a pair of black leather pants and a black leather shirt, with the sleeves taken off. "What do you think?"  
  
"Sure, why not..." he was being sarcastic.  
  
"Good," he put the clothes in his arms, "Now, go take a shower and get dressed."  
  
"Okay." The bathroom door shut behind him.  
  
"And when you're done," he called through the door, "We'll rehearse some more."  
  
In little more than twenty minutes Kaiba was out and downstairs with Mokuba again. Mokuba had been giving him more scenarios and Seto wasn't doing well at all.  
  
"Ugh! Okay, let's try another one." Mokuba thought for a second, "Okay, say you do go in her house and she goes into the other room to 'slip into something more comfortable' what do you do?"  
  
"Sit down and wait till she comes back out."  
  
"No!"  
  
"What then?"  
  
"You take off your pants."  
  
"...WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THIS FROM!?"  
  
Mokuba pulled out a yellow book, "This."  
  
Kaiba read the cover, "What? '101 Ways to get Down and Dirty on a First Date.' Mokuba, were did you get this?"  
  
"...In a store."  
  
"You mean you actually paid money for this?"  
  
"Not a lot."  
  
"How much?"  
  
"...That's not the point! Can we just continue?"  
  
"Fine, one more."  
  
"Okay," Mokuba looked in the book, "If Cassie said she loved you, what would you say?"  
  
"That's nice."  
  
Mokuba groaned, "Okay... times up, you have to be there in half an hour. So, you need to get going."  
  
"Alright," Kaiba headed for the front door, "Wish me luck."  
  
"You'll need all the luck you can get."  
  
Kaiba drove the Mercedes down to her house, he got the address from the envelope. 'Okay, all I have to do is try to get through this... After all, it's only dinner. This should be easy.'  
  
He finally got her house about five minutes before six o'clock. He walked up to her door and sighed, 'This is it.' He knocked twice.  
  
In a second Cassie came to the door in a black skirt and a dark purple belly shirt, "HEY KAIBA!"  
  
Seto's eye twitched, "Hey..."  
  
"Let's go." She calmed down and dragged him into the car.  
  
Kaiba got into this drivers seat, 'Now I see why she's never been on a date...' 


	4. Chapter 4

Dreamy situations  
  
Chapter 4:  
  
They had been driving for only five minutes and Cassie was already talking a mile a minute, Kaiba didn't even understand most of it. He tried to look interested, but he was on the verge of collapse.  
  
"Uh, Cassie?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Where do you want to go for dinner?"  
  
"How about... The Fishy Palace!"  
  
"Isn't that for little kids?"  
  
"YESSY-WESSY! BUT IT HAS FISH!"  
  
Kaiba's face turned green, 'I am allergic to fish.' He swallowed hard, "Okay..."  
  
"Great! You know what else is cool about that place?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"They give out free party hats!"  
  
"..." Seto felt the urge to jump out of the car and run home, "Nice..."  
  
In a few minutes they arrived at the Fishy Palace. Kaiba had a hard time finding a parking spot, "Why are all these people here?"  
  
"Tonight is two fish night."  
  
"What is that?"  
  
"It's when you order one fish and you get twenty more for half price!"  
  
His eyes popped wide open, "If that's the case, then why do they call it 'two' fish night?"  
  
"Well, what's twenty divided by ten?"  
  
"Two."  
  
"There ya go!"  
  
"..."  
  
They got out and went inside, when they got to their table Kaiba felt like him and Cassie were the only ones in there with all their adult teeth.  
  
Everyone else looked like they were five, and even worse than that... Kaiba was forced to wear a party hat that said 'Happy Boy' on it in big letters.  
  
'If anyone I know sees me in here, my life will be over.'  
  
"Are ya having fun?!"  
  
"Fun... isn't the word for it."  
  
"Well, good."  
  
They had already ordered their food. Cassie got twenty orders of the trout and five orders of clams, with a full case of wine. Kaiba ordered a glass of water. With all the room that her food took up that's all he had room for.  
  
Watching her eat was like watching one of those starved dogs eat at the pound. She was getting food everywhere. Kaiba was now regretting not bringing an umbrella or at least a poncho. Cassie was talking to him in between chewing, not that he could understand a word she said. He nodded politely from time to time and pretended she was interesting.  
  
She had just gulfed down the entire case of wine in less the two minutes. Kaiba watched her in amazement, 'Where does it all go?' She was as skinny as a rail.  
  
In a minute she looked at him, "Kaiba?"  
  
"Uh... yeah?"  
  
"WHAT'S WRONG?!"  
  
He jumped back in his chair, she was speaking so quietly before. "Uh... nothing. Why?"  
  
"You seem a little quiet."  
  
"No, that's just the way I am."  
  
"I like you Kaiba..."  
  
"Thanks." He thought about what Mokuba had said, "I mean... I like you too..."  
  
She smiled and broke out in song, "DON'T MAKE CLOSE ONE MORE DOOR! I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYMORE! STAY IN MY ARMS, IF YOU DARE! MUST I IMAGINE YOU THERE?! DON'T WALK AWAY FROM MEEEEE! I HAVE NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING... IF I DON'T HAVE YOU..." then she collapsed on the floor.  
  
Everyone in the restaurant looked at them. Kaiba was red in the face, "Check, please..."  
  
The waiter gave him the bill, (which, by the way was very high) he gave him his credit card and picked Cassie off the floor.  
  
He put her in the passengers seat and drove towards her house. 'Thank god this thing is over.'  
  
When they got to her house Seto carried her to the door and got the key out of her pocket. He walked in and looked around, 'Gee, I hope her parents aren't around.'  
  
He set her on the couch and started to walk back out the door but Cassie woke up, "Kaiba?"  
  
"Hmm?" he turned around.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"You passed out on the floor, it was probably from that whole bottle of wine."  
  
"Did I throw up?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Good. Bye Kaiba... call me later... YAWN!"  
  
"Uh, bye." He walked out the door and back to his car, 'The day I call her is the day hell freezes over.'  
  
He drove home silently and walked through the door, he had only taken off his coat when Mokuba jumped out at him. "Heya Seto!"  
  
"Jeez! Oh... hey Mokuba."  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I live here, remember?"  
  
"I mean I wasn't expecting you back till tomorrow."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"You know," Mokuba winked at him.  
  
"No I don't know, and I don't want to know either." He started to walk upstairs to his room, Mokuba followed.  
  
"So, tell me how it went."  
  
"A nightmare."  
  
"Really? Were you rude?"  
  
"No!" Kaiba sat at his desk, "First we had to go to this little kid restaurant, then I had to wear a party hat, then she ate three times her weight in fish, and then she past out after singing a Whitney Houston song!"  
  
"..." Mokuba starred at him, "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
"It isn't funny. At the end, I had to carry her in her house and she told me to call her before she passed out again."  
  
"Are you going to call?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Aw, come on..."  
  
"No... she was awful. I've learned my lesson. Don't judge a book by its cover... Just because someone is nice looking doesn't mean you'll have a nice time."  
  
"And just because someone isn't the most appealing, doesn't mean you'll have a bad time. Right?"  
  
"I didn't say that."  
  
"..."  
  
"Why did you say that?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Mokuba! What did you do!?"  
  
"Don't get mad, okay?"  
  
"Oh no."  
  
"But I called another girl and told her you'd go out with her tomorrow."  
  
"Oh jeez."  
  
"She's nice... but not very good looking."  
  
"Oh my."  
  
"She's a little hefty... and butt ugly."  
  
"OH GOD!"  
  
"Seto! Calm down! It's just dinner and..."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And I said you would love to give her a full body massage..."  
  
"NOOOOOOO!"  
  
"Seto, please!"  
  
Kaiba shook his head, "I can't do it Mokuba... I'm fragile. My eyes aren't used to such terrible things..."  
  
"Oh stop it, Seto!"  
  
"..."  
  
"Now, I already promised her you'd do it. Will you?"  
  
"...I... Well, okay... but I'm not touching her nasty parts!"  
  
"That's fine." 


	5. Chapter 5

Dreamy situations  
  
Chapter 5:  
  
The next day Kaiba was a nervous wreck about having to give that girl a full body massage. Mokuba was telling him that he was too self-conscious and that he should loosen up. Most importantly though, he knew his brother would be tempted to make rude comments about her so they had to go over that as well.  
  
"I'm serious Seto. Don't do it."  
  
"But she's so... so... ugly." He was holding up her picture.  
  
"That's not nice. Whatever happened to don't judge a book by its cover?"  
  
"This book look's like a horror story."  
  
"Seto... you've got to be nice if you want a second date with this girl."  
  
"I don't even want a first date!"  
  
"..."  
  
"And I can't believe you told her I'd massage her body. Yuck! If her face looks like that just imagine what the rest of her will look like."  
  
"..." Mokuba shuddered. "Um, anyway. You have to give her flowers when you pick her up from her house."  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"Must you always question my methods!?"  
  
"...yes."  
  
"Ugh. You have to give her flowers because that's a nice thing to do."  
  
"That's what they did in the old days."  
  
"That's right. There's nothing wrong with the old days."  
  
"Sure there is."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Their old."  
  
"You're impossible, Seto. Let's continue..." he paused, "Last rule. Don't throw up if she looks disgusting in the nude. That's one of the rudest things you could do."  
  
"You act like I have control over my gag reflexes."  
  
"Well, you had better gain control, or else."  
  
"Or else, what?"  
  
"Or else you won't get a second date with her."  
  
"I don't want one!" He stopped for a second, "What's her name again?"  
  
"Rose. Remember, we looked over her letter yesterday."  
  
"Oh god... Mokuba she's almost ten years older than me!"  
  
"So? Most guys like older women."  
  
"Yeah, but most older women that guys go out with are at least half way decent looking."  
  
"Hey, her being ugly and fat could work to your advantage."  
  
"How is that?"  
  
"Well, she's probably got low self esteem... so you can get her in bed easy."  
  
"...THAT'S DISGUSTING!"  
  
"No, it isn't. I read it in a magazine."  
  
"Which magazine?"  
  
"... People Magazine."  
  
"I don't believe that for one second."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Anyway what time am I supposed to pick her up?"  
  
"Uh... six o' clock."  
  
"Aw man, I'm gonna hate this."  
  
"That's your problem, Seto. You always await the worst. Think positive."  
  
"Positive? Okay..." he thought for a second. "My positive thought is that I won't have to go on this date tonight."  
  
"Nice try..."  
  
"Ugh... Well, I can't see any positive side to this. I mean, what do I get out of this? Rose gets a date with me, and you get to watch me suffer. What do I get?"  
  
"A lifelong companion."  
  
"If I wanted that, I would have bought a dog."  
  
"I mean a human companion!"  
  
"..."  
  
"Well, you've got a couple of hours. Go get ready then come back down here."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"It's a surprise."  
  
"I hate surprises."  
  
"Just go!"  
  
Seto went upstairs and picked out something simple from his closet. He didn't want to look too good or she might do something nasty. When he was done showering and everything, he came back downstairs as Mokuba requested.  
  
"Okay Mokuba, I'm here. What's the surprise?"  
  
Mokuba pulled out a book, "This is a magic book I bought from the bookstore. It has a poem that's supposed to help people get lucky on dates."  
  
"Get lucky? What exactly do you mean by that?"  
  
"You know..." Mokuba winked at him.  
  
"Ugh... this will not work. But go ahead and say your poem."  
  
"Okay, here goes," he paused. "Hold me close, hold me tight. Never let go... at least not tonight."  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
Seto shook his head, "Kids... once they hit thirteen they think they know it all."  
  
"I do."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Like being seventeen is a big deal..."  
  
"It is." He smiled.  
  
"ANYWAY, do you have everything you need for tonight?"  
  
"What do I need besides the clothes on my back?"  
  
"Well... an overnight bag... maybe fresh underwear..."  
  
"Mokuba!"  
  
"What? I'm trying to cover all angles."  
  
"...I'm going now." He headed for the door. "Go to bed at ten, okay?"  
  
"Alright, good luck."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Kaiba walked out the door and went into his car, "... I'm going to regret this."  
  
He drove down to the address written on the card and when he pulled up to the building he was surprised to find that it was pretty big. He went up to the door and knocked twice. While he was waiting for her to answer the door he noticed a sign on the side of the building. It said, 'Sunset Boarding Home.'  
  
Kaiba turned around and was heading back to his car, "Oh, hell no."  
  
"Hey wait a minute!" A girl yelled from the door.  
  
He turned around and saw Rose waving at him, 'Damn.'  
  
"Hey, you're Seto Kaiba right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Great, sorry it took me so long to answer the door. I was sitting on the can."  
  
"Lovely."  
  
"Let's go." 


	6. Chapter 6

Dreamy situations  
  
Chapter 6:  
  
They were driving for a little while and Kaiba, as usual, was quiet. Whilst his date, Rose, was the complete opposite. She was yakking and Seto felt like hitting her in the mouth with a steam shovel.  
  
"Anyways, Kaiba. Do you know much about feet?"  
  
"That's a strange question... No, I don't. Why do you ask?"  
  
"Oh well, I got this huge bunion on the bottom of my foot. It's been there since I was two. I tried sawing it off with a hacksaw... didn't do a thing. Wanna see?" she started taking off her shoe.  
  
"OH NO! That... that's okay. Please, keep your shoe on."  
  
"Well, alright. But I'm warning you... you're missing something cool."  
  
"Yeah well... I've never been into 'cool' things."  
  
"Aw, that's okay. I'll show you something really cool later on tonight when you give me my full body massage." She winked at him.  
  
"Uh..." he got that urge to jump out the car again.  
  
They got to a street with a bunch of restaurants and eating-places. "Well, where do you want to have dinner?"  
  
"Well, I hate McDonalds... and Taco's give me gas..."  
  
'How disgusting!' he shuddered to himself.  
  
"Then I guess its Taco Bell!"  
  
"What?! But you just said that Taco's..."  
  
"Forget what I said and listen to what I say. Tacos!"  
  
"Ugh." Kaiba turned the car toward Taco Bell. 'This has disaster written all over it...'  
  
They parked in the parking lot and got of the car. Kaiba opened the door for Rose as they walked in (Mokuba's idea) and she barely fit through.  
  
They ordered at the register and Kaiba was almost knocked out by her order. "I'll take 20 large tacos with extra cheese and five burritos... AND an extra large coke. What do you want, Kaiba?"  
  
"..." He was still in shock, "I... I'll just have a small diet sprite..."  
  
"Wow, really? No wonder you're so skinny..."  
  
The cashier told him how much it was and he sadly sat down to their table, knowing if he kept going out with girls that have big appetites he'd go broke. 'Why does Mokuba do this to me?'  
  
Rose was interested only in the food that was set down in front of her. She was eating faster than a hippo that just got off a diet. (And that's pretty fast)... As she shoved the last of her burritos into that hungry hole she called a mouth, Seto was quietly sipping his sprite. 'Good god...'  
  
She noticed he was watching her and decided to start a conversation, "How long have you been in with the Russian Mafia?"  
  
"Russian Mafia?!" he looked around, "Where did you get the impression that I was with the Russian Mafia?"  
  
"Mokuba said that."  
  
Kaiba got a strange look on his face, 'Ooh, I'm going to get him! When I get home he's in for it!'  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"I'm fine. What else did my sweet brother tell you about me?"  
  
"Well, other that... he said you've had professional training in massages. That's when he said you'd be prefect for getting the knots out of my back, and everywhere else."  
  
'Oh yeah, Mokuba will die tonight.'  
  
Just when Seto was planning Mokuba's death, Rose had almost finished her fifteenth taco. She wasn't even getting a stomachache. But as she was unwrapping her sixteenth... she felt a sharp pain in her lower intestine. "Ooh..."  
  
Kaiba looked up from his drink, "What's wrong?"  
  
"..." She grabbed her stomach. "I... I think..."  
  
It was silent for a second then a loud squeak came from between Rose's butt cheeks. It was the loudest fart that Seto Kaiba had ever heard, including the ones on T.V.  
  
"Whoa. I feel better." Rose picked up another taco, not noticing everyone else in the room looking at her and Kaiba.  
  
"..." Seto was completely mortified. His face was as red as a cherry and he wanted to disappear into thin air. 'I...I can't believe she did that! Oh my god... And it smells too...' He crinkled his nose so the odor would be less potent.  
  
Rose had finished the rest of her meal and burped loudly, "Well, I'm done. What about you Kaiba, done with your soda?"  
  
"Ye...yes..."  
  
"Well, let's go then!"  
  
The whole place heard her say 'let's go' and they let out a heavy sigh of relief. Kaiba and Rose walked out of Taco Bell and into the car. Seto was ready to go home and drown his sorrows in wine and bourbon, but as his disgusting date reminded him... he still had to give her a full body massage.  
  
So, Kaiba had to go back to her house...err, Boarding House. Rose led him inside and up to her room. The lights were all down low and there was soft music on... Kaiba came into the actual room after Rose, "What's all this stuff for?" Of course he was playing dumb, he didn't want anything to do with her.  
  
"You'll see." She winked at him then went toward another room, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable..."  
  
With that she disappeared into the next room. Seto was about to bolt for the door but before he could even get up he heard Mokuba's words of wisdom in his head 'Take off your pants.'  
  
Seto thought for a second, 'Hell no.' but nonetheless he did sit down, if nothing else he wasn't going to be rude. Besides, he did promise... Or rather, Mokuba promised.  
  
He twitched and flinched for about two or three minutes until he heard a sound from the other room, it was Rose. She had come out into the open and Seto supposed she was trying to look sexy. Key word there is, tried. She didn't succeed... she looked like a pale refrigerator barely clothed in a silk bathrobe.  
  
Kaiba's eye twitched, "Uh... hi."  
  
"Hi." She said seductively. She sauntered over to the couch and sat next to him. "You ready?"  
  
"Is that a rhetorical question?"  
  
She giggled lightly and slipped her chunky legs into his lap, he flinched and pulled his hands back. 'Oh god... here we go.'  
  
Rose let her hand slip to Seto's crouch and smiled at him. He was not amused and wiggled out of her reach. She frowned but then got a wicked smirk on her face, "Kaiba, are you nervous?"  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Getting ready to massage a beautiful girl like me."  
  
'What mirror is she using?' Kaiba sighed.  
  
Rose took that as a yes and decided to get the 'party' started. She stood up and with one motion took her robe and threw it to the other side of the room. Her body was completely revealed to him. She put a 'sexy' look on her face and tossed back her matted, nappy brown hair. "What do ya think Kaiba?"  
  
Seto was about to say something but his gag reflexes betrayed him at the last minute and he almost lost it. But fortunately for him, he held it in at the last moment. 'This is the most torturous thing I've ever had to survive.' He looked up at her again, "Uh... nice."  
  
"I knew you'd think so. Some people think I'm so perfect, I should be served on a platter."  
  
'Yeah, with an apple in your mouth.'  
  
She sat on Kaiba's lap nearly crushing him, "Well, we should probably start." She bent down and picked up a bottle of body oil. "Here ya go." She gave it to him and then slid onto her stomach right across his legs. Which, for a minute or two, cut off his circulation.  
  
He almost puked but brought himself to rub the oil on her back, he dare not go any further. She was content just having Seto's hands on her bare flesh, but soon she became bored and moved her body a little so that his hand would come in contact with her butt.  
  
"Hey!" Kaiba yelped out of disgust, "What did you do that for?"  
  
She sat up, "Stop playing around, Seto. You and I both know what we want." She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, "So let's just take it!"  
  
Before Kaiba could say anything she smashed her lips to his and ripped his shirt off. He tried desperately to get away but the more he resisted the more she insisted. While panicking Seto was beginning to wonder if he'd be the next rape victim in the city of Domino. He could see the headlines now, 'CEO and owner of Kaiba Corp raped by 600 pound psycho.'  
  
'Oh!' Seto thought as Rose fondled his belt, 'Why didn't I bring my mace?!' 


	7. Chapter 7

Dreamy situations  
  
Chapter 7:  
  
It was about two in the morning at the Kaiba Mansion, Mokuba was sleeping on the couch in the front room. "..."  
  
He woke with a start as soon as he heard someone come from the front door, that same person flipped the switch and the lights came on. It was Seto, "Mokuba? Is that you?"  
  
He sat up, "Seto? Yeah, it's me."  
  
"What are you doing up? I told you to go to bed at ten. It's gotta be past midnight..."  
  
"Actually it past two... Wait a minute!" Mokuba rushed over to him and got a funny look in his eye, "Why are you just getting home?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Seto Kaiba! Did you do what I think you did?"  
  
"No! Lucky for me I got away!"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"She tried to rape me! She jumped on me and wouldn't let me go!"  
  
"You can't rape the willing, Seto."  
  
"I wasn't willing! It was disgusting! I had to spend hours with that crazed psycho... I wouldn't let her near my belt and pants, so she resorted to drastic measures."  
  
"Drastic measures? What does that mean?"  
  
"You don't want to know, Mokuba... I'll never be the same..." Kaiba sat on the couch, "No more dates, okay?"  
  
"What?! You're going to give up that easily?"  
  
"Let me think... Yes!"  
  
"Aw, come on..."  
  
"No, Mokuba."  
  
Mokuba used his puppy dogface and snuggled up to him. "Please..."  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Why not? WHY NOT?! How would you feel if someone tried to rape you?!"  
  
"You're a boy Seto. The only real way you could be raped is by another guy."  
  
"Rape is a crime, no matter what."  
  
"...You drama queen! Stop that!"  
  
"..."  
  
"Look what I have!" Mokuba pulled a letter from his pocket, "I bet this'll cheer you up!"  
  
Seto took the letter and opened it, "Mokuba, this better not be another one of those personal ad letters."  
  
"Just read it."  
  
Seto scanned it really quick, "Dear Seto, I'd love to go out with you some time. You sound nice and I would consider myself lucky you would call me. Even if it was to tell me what a jerk I've been for letting you go. Love, Joey. P.S: You know the number..."  
  
Mokuba smiled, "It came in today."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me about this before I left for Rose's house?"  
  
"Well, it occurred to me that you weren't going to be happy if you kept going out with strangers. And I remembered how happy you were when you were dating Joey... So, when this letter came I thought you'd be really happy. But I also thought seeing Joey might open old wounds, so I decided to wait till after you're date to tell you this. Just to see if you had a good time."  
  
"Well, thank you Mokuba... For looking out for my best interests." Seto hugged him tightly, "But next time, tell me about things like this. Okay?"  
  
"Yeah, Seto..." Mokuba snuggled closer to Kaiba's chest, "I promise."  
  
"..."  
  
"So... since this is a personals ad. Are you going to call and ask for a date?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"You know you want to."  
  
He smiled, "Bring me the phone."  
  
Mokuba got up and went into the kitchen, got the phone and sat down with Seto. "Here ya go. Do you remember his number?"  
  
"Yes. But do you think it's too late to call him? I mean, it's past two in the morning."  
  
"I think Joey will be wide awake."  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"Because tonight they're showing a 12 hour monster movie marathon. You know how Joey loves monsters."  
  
He smiled and dialed the number. Ring, Ring, Ring! "Hello?" It was Joey's voice.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"K...Kaiba?"  
  
"I got your letter in the mail. The one from the personals ad."  
  
Joey turned the T.V off, "You did?"  
  
"Yeah. So, I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me tomorrow night. Maybe to dinner?"  
  
"Sure, I'd like that a lot. I'll see you at six, then?"  
  
"I'll be looking forward to it, puppy."  
  
"Bye."  
  
"Bye." Kaiba hung up the phone and had a serene look on his face when he turned to Mokuba. "God, it was so good to here his voice again."  
  
"I take it you're happy now?"  
  
"Very happy." Kaiba started for the stairs, "I just hope... I just hope it works out this time."  
  
"Me too, Seto. I want you to be happy."  
  
Kaiba walked up the stairs and into his room. Mokuba turned off the light and went up into his room, 'I really want you to be happy, Seto.' 


	8. Chapter 8

Dreamy situations  
  
Chapter 8:  
  
It was the next day and Seto was feeling more anxious then he ever had before. Even more anxious than his very first date with Joey. Whatever it is that Kaiba had done, whatever it was that he said to make Joey leave him... He would be sure not to do or say it again.  
  
It was about five o' clock and Kaiba was in his room searching through his closet, 'I must pick something Joey's never seen me in. No, too flashy... No, too lame...' Kaiba took a big sigh, "Mokuba!"  
  
"What is it?" he stuck his head in the door.  
  
"What do you think of this outfit?"  
  
"It looks great, Seto. Joey will love it."  
  
"Are you just saying that?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Ugh," he held in up and looked in the mirror, "I just don't know..."  
  
"Then pick something else."  
  
"I don't know what else to pick!"  
  
"Ugh..." Mokuba scanned through everything quickly, "Here." He gave him a black muscle shirt with a pair of jeans.  
  
"Well, it certainly isn't something Joey's ever seen me in before."  
  
"Keep it casual. That's the #1 first date rule."  
  
"But this isn't our first date."  
  
Mokuba headed for the door, "Pretend."  
  
Kaiba shrugged and put it in anyway; he didn't look half bad in normal clothes for once. As soon as he was done putting on his clothes, cologne, and everything else he went downstairs. "Hey Mokuba."  
  
"Hey..." he turned to him, "Wow, Seto! You look great."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"I guess you're looking forward to going out with Joey again, huh?"  
  
"You don't know the half of it, Mokuba. I'm absolutely thrilled. All those other people were starting to get annoying."  
  
"..."  
  
"I was worried I'd be stuck in the personals ad forever."  
  
"You're telling me you didn't enjoy any of it?"  
  
"Well, uh..." Kaiba pulled him into a hug; "I thank you for trying to make me happy. And by putting that ad in the newspaper you gave Joey the opening he needed. You did a great job Mokuba."  
  
"..."  
  
He kissed Mokuba on the forehead then got up, "I'm going now. I'll be back later. Oh, and Mokuba..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"This time, I want you in bed by ten."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Bye." Kaiba shut the door. He got into the car and started to drive towards Joey's house. When he got there he hopped out of the car and started fir the door. Right before he knocked he thought a second, 'Here we go.'  
  
He knocked twice and Joey was there in a flash. "Hey Seto."  
  
"Hi, Joey."  
  
They walked to the car and got inside. Kaiba started the car and headed down the road, "So, where do you want to go?"  
  
"Um..." Joey thought for a minute, "How about McDonalds?"  
  
"That sounds good, I've never been there before."  
  
"You haven't?! How do you not go to McDonalds?!"  
  
"I'm not much of a fast food eater."  
  
"Oh. Well, you'll love it."  
  
"If you say so."  
  
They pulled into the parking lot and went inside. When they ordered at the register Seto was so relieved that Joey didn't have anywhere near the appetite of those other two girls. They both got the same thing: an orange soda, a burger, and a medium fry.  
  
When they sat down to their table Seto became extremely nervous, although Joey on the other hand was calm. "So, what have you been up to lately?"  
  
"Uh... you don't want to know."  
  
"Sure I do."  
  
"Well, Mokuba talked me into going on two dates with complete psychos. Both were embarrassing and tedious."  
  
Joey giggled, "Were they girls?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Which one was worse?"  
  
"By far, it was the one last night. I was totally humiliated, almost threw up twice, and was almost rapped."  
  
"..." Joey starred at him, "Mokuba picked some weird dates for you."  
  
"Yeah, I'm starting to think he has it out for me."  
  
"Nah, he adores you. He probably just has bad taste in dates for you."  
  
"..."  
  
"You know, my days without you haven't been a picnic either."  
  
"They haven't?"  
  
"No. I almost got sent to the shadow realm by Marik..."  
  
"Oh, yeah. I remember that."  
  
"Were you the one who tipped him off?"  
  
"Someone had to get you off Malik. He was going insane."  
  
Joey stuck his tongue out.  
  
Set didn't take offense to it, all he did was lean over and kiss him on the cheek. "You'd better stick that back in before you catch a fly."  
  
He blushed and did as he was told. "I'm sorry I broke up with you."  
  
"It's no big deal. But if you don't mind me asking..."  
  
"Why did I do it?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Mokuba, told me that he..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Liked you."  
  
"I know that he likes me. He's my brother, I like him too."  
  
"No... I mean. He REALLY likes you."  
  
"..."  
  
THE END...  
  
Hello. Listen, I stopped here because I have something else I need to do. But maybe later I'll have time to write a sequel. But only if you guys want one. So, if you do... let me hear ya SCREAM!!! 


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